Remembering Mrs. Foltz

My very first and best loved piano teacher passed away this past week at the age of 92. My mom forwarded her obituary to me, and as soon as I opened the page the tears flowed.

This picture is just how I remember her. She taught lessons in her little ranch house on her baby grand piano that seemed to entirely dominate her small living room. When we had that all-important recital at the end of the year, parents and students were packed into the living room and kitchen like sardines. Every Christmas she would give me a piece of music as a gift, and I would work on it for months in order to play it at the recital. The big treat, of course, was hearing Mrs. Foltz play a solo at the recital. In my child's perspective, I thought she was the best pianist in the world! Occasionally she'd play a duet with one of her older students. Oh, how I wanted to be that student! How I wanted so badly to play a duet with her! Sadly, I never did get that opportunity.

I remember my first lesson at age 8, and her telling my mom that I had "strong fingers." I remember the feeling of pride and accomplishment when she'd stick a little foil star on a piece that I had played well. She was one of the most encouraging, gracious women I've ever known, and I continued my lessons with her until I graduated high school.

To my knowledge, I was the only student of hers to continue in the field of music. When I auditioned for Hartt, the faculty member that was present said he really liked my interpretation of Bach. I attribute this to the way Mrs. Foltz taught me to play it. Pretend the piano is a harpsichord, she would say. Play it like a harpsichord. She encouraged not just proper playing technique, but how to make music with the instrument. I am so grateful to her for how well-rounded a pianist I became.

She kept up with my progress and would always ask my mom how I was doing. Whenever I came home and saw her at church, she was always happy to see me and would want to hear about music school and what I was working on.

When I picture myself giving lessons, perhaps in the future, I hope I would be just like her. She made a tremendous difference in my life, in so many more ways than just piano. Mrs. Foltz, when we meet again in Heaven, I want to play a duet with you. Is that OK?

Quote of the Day

"I am beginning to suspect all elaborate and special systems of education. They seem to me to be built upon the supposition that every child is a kind of idiot who must be taught to think. Whereas, if the child is left to himself, he will think more and better, if less showily. Let him go and come freely, let him touch real things and combine his impressions for himself, instead of sitting indoors at a little round table, while a sweet-voiced teacher suggests that he build a stone wall with his wooden blocks, or make a rainbow out of strips of coloured paper, or plant straw trees in bead flower-pots. Such teaching fills the mind with artificial associations that must be got rid of, before the child can develop independent ideas out of actual experience." -- Anne Sullivan

The plight of the worship director

Most of this is probably just a frustrated vent, so feel free to disregard or laugh it off. But seriously...

I am not cut out to be a worship director at a church. I know to some of you this may come as a shock, but all I can say is this: You don't know me very well if you think for one second I would ever want that sort of job!

"Oh, but you're so gifted in that area" is the thing I hear most from well-meaning friends who think I'm squandering away my gifts by not pursuing this line of work. However, I spent enough years in that field to know for certain, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that it is NOT for me, that God has not gifted me for a position like that in any way, shape or form. When He does, I'll let you know, not the other way around.

Yes, I'm gifted musically, yes I'm a worship leader - but it takes much more than that to serve on staff in a local church. My general distaste for the position is solely based on my experience, of course, so maybe some of you out there have more positive experiences to share? Maybe I'm just throwing the baby out with the bath water, but I'm telling you, what I've seen thus far makes me run in the other direction whenever a friend of mine starts a sentence with "I know of this church that's looking for a music director, and it'd be PERFECT for you..."

I've titled this "the plight of the worship director" because I don't know how you all put up with the onslaught of criticisms, helpful suggestions, and downright thoughtless bombardment of really, really bad ideas and not-very-well thought out additions that folks want to make to the Sunday morning worship line-up. I have a difficult enough time trying to hold my own when asked to lead worship for various functions, as in "Kim, we'd like you to lead worship, but here are the songs we were thinking of, and here's the scripture we thought would fit best, and there's going to be a message by so-and-so, and then we're going to do this......etc etc." OK, and why am I here again? LOL

I've worked with effective worship directors, and I've worked with really ineffective ones. The effective ones understand the importance of timing, transition and balance when it comes to crafting corporate worship time. The ineffective ones don't think it matters, and instead throw it all to the wind, stick the pieces and parts of worship together and hope for the best by saying "God will bless our efforts as long as we're doing it for Him." Um, yes, true to a certain extent - but they don't really get the whole picture.

But not only that, most of the people who sit in the church pews don't understand what goes into crafting a time of worship. Generally speaking, people want what they want, they are full of good intentions, but they just don't "get it." Taking a group of worshipers from point A to point B is a process, one that requires care and commitment, not just personal preference and good ideas. For example, if you're planning an event, and you ask me to lead worship, don't tell me how to do my job. Yes, we'll work together, I'll listen to all your song ideas and incorporate those scripture passages you want, but then you stick to what you know how to do, and leave the worship/music part to me. And please, don't come up to me after it's all said and done, an hour before we're ready to go, and say "we're changing this" or "this needs to go here" or "Can we move this song to another place" or "Can I make some announcements here?" etc etc.

Much of the problem starts when there is a committee in charge of planning an event, I'm asked to lead worship, but I haven't been included in any of the planning meetings. Rather, information is "passed along" to me, and now I'm supposed to do something with it. Then again, sometimes being part of those planning meetings is worse, because everyone at the meeting suddenly becomes a worship planning expert and everyone wants their suggestions included. Then I spend more time at those meetings trying to educate the un-educable than I do actually planning worship. Trying, tiring, and generally not a very satisfying experience.

So - to those effective worship directors out there - you know who you are, and I have nothing but the highest respect and admiration for what you do on a weekly basis. But tell me, how do you handle the well-intentioned masses who don't understand? Maybe you work for a lead pastor who doesn't understand, and if that's the case, then I really don't know how you do it! How do you handle this stuff with grace, without coming across as "it's my way or the highway"?

I'm loving June.

It has been one of the nicest days since May and its craziness ended. Glen installed a solar heating system for the pool, so right now the water temp is 80 degrees. All we need is sun. The ducks were roaming around out of their pen the whole day, so they were indeed very happy, doing what ducks do. I had all day to water the newly seeded lawn at various intervals, which is now sprouting! Linda dropped Amanda off for a couple of hours while she ran some errands, I spent some time sorting through stuff in the garage and freecycling - the kids were in and out of the pool. Lunch on the deck in the shade of our new umbrella. Nice.

I don't need to be doing, doing, doing all the time to feel fulfilled. Life is good. I love my family, and this is where God wants me right now.

Tomorrow - a floor for the new sunroom! It's going to rain all day, so that's a good time to run errands. Exchanging sprinklers at Agway, grocery shopping, maybe a treat for the kids after lunch.

It's 6:11pm and the kids are in the pool once more. I'm making dinner. Glen will be home shortly. Can you hear the contented sigh? :)

That slippery slope

I was talking to a friend today on the phone, and he was telling me about how excited he was about an upcoming trip, but the conversation quickly turned to him mentioning family finances and a few struggles he and his wife were having...when suddenly he stopped and said "Wow, please don't tell her I told you any of this, I probably shouldn't have told you, but I consider you a sister, know what I mean?"

Suddenly I was jolted back into what constitutes appropriate conversation topics among members of the opposite sex.

The last time I found myself in this situation with a Christian brother who said he considered me his sister, the friendship ended very badly. As for me, I thought I was being a supportive sister in Christ, and I could not understand why his wife was so upset with me. Now I know better. I don't care how much your heart is breaking, ladies - the only thing you should do is end the conversation quickly and gracefully and run like hell. A man seeking emotional support from anyone other than his wife, pastor or a male friend is a ticking time bomb.

With regards to my friend today, better that he share with my husband from now on, and thankfully I was jolted back into that protective reality and I made sure I told him that before the conversation ended, thereby insuring the preservation of our family friendship with this couple.

I was amazed, however, at how easy it was to completely forget about appropriate boundaries! The conversation just rolled right on, and before I knew it I was listening and being supportive, and he was the one who initiated the "whoa! turn back!" I'm thankful for the wake-up call, and so thankful to God that He helps me in these situations - helps me to grow and learn from my mistakes. I may never "arrive" in this world, but I'll work very hard at trying to get there, and hopefully I can help prevent those within my sphere of influence from making the same mistakes.

Saying goodbye

I stink at saying goodbye. I'd much rather say "see you later" even if I'm not sure I will or not. One of my girlfriends is driving to Texas tomorrow and will be staying for several months, with the possibility of it being permanent. She says she'll be back in the fall, and I believe her, because her storage unit is FULL. She's traveling with some clothes, a few personal items and her beloved cat. It's a three day drive to Austin.

It's just so hard to say goodbye, though. I know, there's the phone, email, Facebook, text messages - all sorts of ways to keep in touch today than ever before. But now I can't just call and say "Hey! Meet me at Shea's!" It's a little sad.

We had fun last night moving some of her stuff downstairs so the movers could take it to her storage unit this morning. We shared a bottle of wine, some laughs, and stayed up way too late. Then the kids and I picked her up from the auto repair place this morning and took her to Shady Glen while they fixed the air-conditioning in her car - 'cause trust me, you do not want to be driving the Austin, TX without AC! When her car was done, we took some more boxes & little stuff to her storage unit.

I have a couple plants to take care of, and some yogurt that was left in her fridge. Sigh. Gonna miss my friend. Although I do hope she meets a tall, handsome cowboy who sweeps her off her feet and gives her the world. :)

Caption, please.